Responding with an Honest No

Extracted from: Byron Katie 15.03.2018


Honest communication means responding with the 'yes' or 'no' that you believe in your heart to be true in the moment, regardless of any story that it may hurt or disappoint another. It's possible to love without condition, even when your answer is 'no'. This exercise is about realizing that an honest 'no' to another person is a 'yes' to you, and ultimately a yes to them.

People ask for many things. The following are examples of how to practice your honest 'no' to these requests, and still hear and respect that they are asking for what they want. Also notice that using the word 'and' joins while using the word 'but' separates. Discover the words that are the most caring, natural, and honest for you, and link it to the 'no'. The following are examples, ideas only. 

Thank you for asking, and no...
I hear what you are saying, and no...
I understand you would really like that, and no...
I appreciate what I'm hearing, and no...
I hear you; you could be right, and no...
Thank you for sharing that idea with me, and no...
Thank you for asking me, and the answer this time is no...
I can see that it works for you, and no...
I want to please you, and no...
I don't know yet. Please ask me later...
I hear you are saying, and no...
I really see that you want that, and no...
No, and I need your help and support on this...
Thank you, and no...

Play with these, remembering to use 'I' language and see how it feels for you to stay within your own integrity.


To learn more about using 'no' honestly, the use of 'I' statements, self responsibility and the impact that your past may be having on your current communication with others contact Carolyn on 0422929616 or carolyn@counsellingserviceswa.com.au